How US$1500 monthly from HWFMU helps College Jamaican Males impregnate Professional Women

“In life you have to move slowly. In a small population like ours, you don't really want to overexpose yourself too quickly. I think people are still being sensitised to the whole concept of assisted conception”

Head of the HWFMU Professor Joseph Frederick commenting to the Gleaner on the HWFMU (Hugh Wynter Fertility Management Unit) plans to screen Jamaican men to provide sperm for IVF (In Vitro Fertilization)

Folks, I’m gonna have a lot of fun with this article. Please count how many times I use a pun about penis and masturbation thought this article!

When I initially read the story on Sunday January 25^th 2015 about the HWFMU (Hugh Wynter Fertility Management Unit) planning to buy sperm from Jamaican male donors for US$1500 (JA$173,325.00) per month as reported in the article “Big Bucks For Sperm - But Only A Handful Of Men Would Qualify For US$1,500 Per Month Offer If The Programme Is Introduced”, Published Sunday January 25, 2015, by Nadine Wilson-Harris, Staff Reporter, The Jamaica Gleaner, I thought it was a joke of some sort.

Maybe, UWI, it seemed, was trying to help out the UWI male population who were masturbating on the Halls by giving them a way to make money to pay down on their tuition money before they got blocked from taking exams. 

But jokes aside, this isn't some kind of scam. Evidence of this can be seen from the requirements, not many men can rise to the occasion:

1.      19 to 39 years old

2.      5"9" in height

3.      Able to ejaculate three (3) time per week per month

4.      Enrolled at a university or have a degree

5.      Genetically perfect specimen

6.      Good health

7.      HIV Test Twice Yearly

It's even sparked a rush by taximen ready to make cash by just releasing their excess load into a machine and not on a young schoolgirl as noted in yet another article in this Sunday Gleaner article “Rush To Earn From Sperm”, Published Sunday February 1, 2015, by Nadine Wilson-Harris, Staff Reporter, The Jamaica Gleaner.

So yes this is legit; you can apparently make money from masturbating!

But why is it that suddenly the HWFMU is seeking Jamaican men to artificially inseminate Jamaican women whose men cannot rise to the occasion? As with all things in life, it’s about quality, not quantity. And as I’ll explain in this article, it would possibly suggest that impotence is on the rise in Jamaica due to our diet and lifestyle!

US$1500 per month for Jamaican Sperm - HWFMU need Highly Educated Jamaican Sperm 

What initially seems to be shakin' down is the fact that it's cheaper to just get Jamaican men to donate sperm rather than to ship it frozen from the Cryobank in California, the usual source of fresh sperm used in fertility treatments to quote Head of the HWFMU Professor Joseph Frederick: “We have to buy the sperm from overseas and they come down frozen, so if we could get fresh sperm down here, that would be very good Particularly when we have a problem with a couple where a man's sperm is very bad or he doesn't have any sperm at all, we have to order”.

Many are called but few can stick it, being as the usual sources for the international sperm bank are law, medicine and business College students at Harvard or Stanford. This logically implies either a lot of White and Asian students at Harvard or Stanford are impregnating Black Jamaican women or the few black men on these prestigious colleges are supplying a country of almost 3 million people with Sperm.

However, Head of the HWFMU Professor Joseph Frederick dismisses this notion with a chuckle; couples want sperm that's labeled “Made in Jamaica”, quote: “They would tell you that they don't want somebody who is too far removed from their physical attributes in terms of the colour of their skin, height, and then of course all of them say that they want somebody who is educated. Sometimes they want so much that you think they want superman”.

This makes Jamaica appear both intellectually and sexually impotent, to quote Head of the HWFMU Professor Joseph Frederick: “Our stringent donor qualification process (including genetic and infectious disease screening) allows less than one per cent of all applicants to make it into our programme”.

After all, shouldn’t there be enough young men that meet the criteria that can take on the challenge of impregnating infertile females? Given the stringent requirements, that may not be the case.

So what does the Jamaican UWI, UTECH or Teacher College student have to do to measure up to this 9 foot pole yardstick? Here are the requirements repeated again if you still unable to get it to stand up:

1.      19 to 39 years old

2.      5"9" in height

3.      Able to ejaculate three (3) time per week per month

4.      Enrolled at a university or have a degree

5.      Genetically perfect specimen

6.      Good health

7.      HIV Test Twice Yearly

So rather than import American sperm to impregnate Jamaica women, just like our importation of food from First World Countries as noted in my blog article entitled “Jamaica's Basic Item Food Bill mostly from 1st World Countries - Buy Jamaican Build Jamaica made from Imported Raw Materials in containers that says Made in Jamaica”, the HMFWU has decided to go local.

Demand for Jamaican Sperm – IVF in a country where Masturbation is a Common Taboo

But could it be a case that impotence is on the rise? After all, it's one of the possible reason, aside from the fear of a twice yearly HIV test that I can think up to explain the shortfall in men standing up and impregnate some highly educated Jamaican Black Sista's!

Jamaican men are known to drink a lot of alcohol and men from the higher echelons of society tend to drink beer and wine, which is known to cause decreased sexual performance based on the research of the RSPH (Royal Society for Public Health) as noted in my blog article entitled “RSPH Study on Caloric Knowledge of Alcohol – British Drinkers Clueless on Caloric Content of Wines as EU moving to label Wines by December 2014”.

Foods that have a high level of Fats and Sugar are associated with increasing incidence of Lifestyle diseases such as Heart attack and Stroke. An incidence of a Stroke or a Heart attack or simply being obese may case restricted blood flow to the sexual organs making sexual intercourse difficult for these high-born Professionals.

To that end, the Ministry of Health had a plan to implement a Fast Food Health Tax to reduce the cost of the paying for the health care of persons suffering from these preventable lifestyle disease as posited in my blog article entitled “Min. of Health, Dr. Fenton Ferguson proposes financing Health Care via a Fast Food and Junk Food Tax - Jamaican High Schoolers Addiction to American style Fast Food”.

But Head of the HWFMU Professor Joseph Frederick would not bow to such an assertion. Rather, he pointed out that the lack of Jamaican Sperm Donors is more about culture as Fertility treatments in Jamaica are quite new, quote: “You find that because of that, a lot of men, unless they have a particular commitment, they are not just going to come off the road and give sperm and go through all that trouble”.

Translation: unless the person receiving your sperm is a family relative, men are reluctant to donate. 

This is especially true given that donating effectively means masturbating to ejaculate sperm into a receiving machine that resembles a oversized vacuum cleaner, masturbation being taboo in Jamaica albeit widely practiced under the quiet, to quote Head of the HWFMU Professor Joseph Frederick: “Masturbation in our culture is not an easy thing for most men to come and do just like that. So unless you have a particular interest, you don't tend to come”.

Demand for Jamaican Sperm - Ambitious Professional Women wanting to be Mothers later in life

Despite this, I still think impotence may be on the rise. Up until now, these few White, Asian and Black students at Harvard or Stanford were doing a fine job of impregnating our highly educated Jamaican women. But the fact that they're calling in the Jamaican reserves implies several possibilities:

1.      The Harvard or Stanford can't keep up with the increasing demand for their sperm

2.      Local production of Jamaican sperm is no cheaper than importation

3.      More infertile couples are specifically demanding Jamaican Sperm as opposed to American sperm

4.      There has been an increase in the number of infertile couples in Jamaica

5.      There has been an increase in the number or highly educated females seeking to have a child but unable to find a suitable mate

But again, it seems that Head of the HWFMU Professor Joseph Frederick did a fantastic job of defending his wicket, pointing out that as women strive to achieve more in life, many are also opting to store their eggs at the HWFMU for fertilization later.

After achieving their dreams, they then plan to get pregnant using these younger, fresher eggs.  Problem is, an AWFUL LOT of Jamaican Professional women, possibly single, are opting to do this.

The HWFMU is also very competitive when compared to international Egg and Sperm banks:

1.      US$12,000 internationally for a round IVF (Invitro-Fertilization) Treatment

2.      US$600 per annum to store Sperm and Eggs

At the HWFMU, which is highly subsidized, the prices for couples are a lot lower for the same professional service:

1.      US$7,000 for a round IVF (Invitro-Fertilization) Treatment

2.      US$200 per annum to store Sperm and Eggs

Thus with such dirt-cheap prices, it’s no wonder that professional women, unable to find a man that doesn’t have a problem with a successful Black Woman are now taking up the option to just store their eggs until the time is right.

Some may even be opting to start families as a single parent using their Eggs or sell them to older couples seeking to get pregnant for profit, albeit I’m not sure if the HWFMU allows that, being as their services are geared specifically at couples.

Combine all of this, it's clear that increasing demand is begin placed on the HWFMU to find genetically suitable donors. So they're looking to Jamaica with a reward of US$1500 (JA$173,325.00) for any man that can masturbate three (3) per week.