MRSI and Stray Dogs - Dr. Dolittle and The Golden Child

A dog starving at his Master’s Gate

Predicts the ruin of the state

Blake, Auguries of Innocence

This is very much so the case, as this cribbed saying reflects an acute problem in Jamaica: Stray Jamaican Dogs aka Canis Mixup-ius Jamaicanus (Jamaica Mixed Breed Dogs). Little Dmitri Thomas, a toddler of a mere three (3) Earth Cycles old living in the Clinton Pen aka of Bowtie Land in St Andrew, a West Kingston community, was assassinated by a team of six (6) such Jamaican Dogs.

Looks like Carlette Deleon aka the Pet Tales Chick aka “Dilly” of Television Jamaica will be a star for the next few weeks as their guest Dr. DoLittle (1998). Or……..maybe she is behind this all as a means of boosting her Smile Jamaica Pet Tales sagging ratings?!

The incident, which occurred on Tuesday March 23^rd 2011 at 12:30pm, traumatized the community after the child, who was taken to the Bustamante Hospital, succumbed to his injuries.

His spirit is now with the God Anubis, a protective, fierce yet friendly Dog, with the demi-god Bastet, his furry feline femme fetale friend to accompany him on his journey to the Afterlife along the River Nile.

Initially, when I had purchase the Star Newspaper and read the front page article entitled “Dog Bites 3-y-o to Death”, published Wednesday March 23 2011 by Sheldon Williams and Sheldon Wright, STAR Writers, The Jamaica Star. I thought it was another sensationalist “Yellow Press” Story, as my English teachers from Glenmuir High School used to say.

Up to the time of writing this article, I am yet to receive news of these Jamaican Dogs being caught, despite a week long hunting party and traps set as stated in the article “Team to go hunting for dogs that killed toddler”, published Thursday March 24, 2011 9:18am, RJR News, have failed to bring the criminals…..er…..I mean Jamaican Dogs, to justice.

My initial take on the story was that it was a prank. I though, maybe these dogs were demonically possessed by Carlette Deleon aka the Pet Tales Chick aka “Dilly” of Television Jamaica fame. Using her magical powers hidden in her blue eyelashes, most likely “crazy-glued” on as Audia Granston used to smirk, Dr. DoLittle (1998) Style, to kill the boy?

Her appearance on Monday March 28^th 2011 with Simon Croskill, after she committed her heinous crime the previous Tuesday March 23^rd 2011 was an attempt to boost rating for her show, PetTales, which is the lowest rated of the five days that Smile Jamaica appeared on Television Jamaica.

Perhaps. Maybe.

After all, she DID appear on LIVE Morning TV in a previous episode of Smile Jamaica, and call Neville Bell a, quote “Dog” as noted in my blog article entitled “LIME TV and Broadcasting - The Andromeda Strain and My Science Project”. She later repented of this act by kissing a Jamaican Dog in its puppy form.

That, folks, is when it all went bad.

I knew she was evil. Every time I watch the video clips on Television Jamaica, I notice she has no shadow or reflection. The Dark Side, is growing in Television Jamaica, I fear,

It is my belief, that this Canis Mixup-ius Jamaicanus puppy was merely a vessel for a demon spirit, which then possesed the dogs in the St. Andrew area after traveling from her home. While in a trance - or most likely using her Apple iPad (the visual clue!)  - Carlette Deleon aka the Pet Tales Chick aka “Dilly” of Television Jamaica fame, controlled the six (6) furry four-footed feral assassins (ran out of f’’s…sorry!) and had The Golden Child (1986) assassinated.

When December 21^st 2012 comes about, Jamaica is doomed. Elementary, My Dear Homes, elementary, Sherlock Holmes (2009)……..

Thus imagine my surprise when the very SAME story appeared in the official press! And it was not Yellow Press Journalism.

It was real!!

So folks, throw the above theory aside

My thoughts now so sincere of these investigative Journalists who originally broke the story, yet they write for a rag such as The Jamaica Star?

This foible askance, it was by mere chance while deciding what to write this Tuesday March 29^th 2011AD that my eyes glazed the burnished Sun-orange pages of the Go-Jamaica website and saw the story repeated: “Animal rights group fear more Dog attacks”, published 2011-03-24 17:25:47, by Livern Barrett, Gleaner Writer, Go-Jamaica.

Then my cup of chocolate dropped, as I realized I had struck Blogger Gold - and realized, too, it was actually newsworthy.

Crank up my Steam-punk computer; up, up and away!!

So now for the “backative” like a Vybz Kartel "Dumpa Truck", as we Jamaicans would say, as I need to “set good like ice inna freeza” to write this article! This is my theme music as it reminds me of my Seventh Day Adventist significant other, Audia Granston, who used to request this of me when she turned of the lights, dressed like Santa’s helper!

According to the article “Animal rights group fear more dog Attacks”, published 2011-03-24 17:25:47, by Livern Barrett, Gleaner Writer, Go-Jamaica, little Dmitri Thomas was killed by a six (6) pack of dogs at 12:30pm on Wednesday March 23^rd 2011. Worth repeating, as this is the REAL news, not “Tell-lie”-vision.

Apparently, this Gang of Six (6) apparently did not know this little one, Dmitri Thomas, was a human of the species homo sapiens, only smaller size. This while the Lady of the House was about, tending to the necessities of the home at a local shop in the area.

As usual, the Government of Jamaica watchdogs (loving the pun!), namely the long silent and long winded JVMA (Jamaica Veterinary Medical Association) and the equally opprobrious JSPCA (Jamaica Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals) popped out of nowhere.

As usual, the Calvary is always late.

They began offering solution to a problem that has long been about in Jamaica: Stray Jamaican Cats and Dogs (2001). And it is an acute problem if the official Jamaica Observer article entitled “Help needed to neuter stray cats, dogs”, published Monday, March 28, 2011, The Jamaica Observer is to be believed.

The words of JVMA Secretary Dr Paul Cadogan express this best, quote: “Perhaps the most important means of controlling the population of dogs and cats is controlling their reproduction. In six years, one breeding female dog and the generations that follow can potentially multiply to 67,000. In seven years one breeding female cat can potentially become 420,000! Spaying and neutering these animals is the one sure way of stopping this”

Pet ownership in Jamaica is a problem. Most of these supposedly “feral” dogs actually have a master. They kill because they are not being fed let alone chained up by their “owners”.

Yes, “owners” in quotes! This as there is STILL no Animal Registry in Jamaica much as Cars are licensed and registered and Mobile Phones are soon to be registered via the auspices of a recently passed Bill relating to MRSI (Mandatory Registration of Subscriber Information). This being a precursor to MNP (Mobile Number Portability) this Summer of 2011 as stated in my blog article entitled “MRSI and MNP - Where the Spies Are”.

This is another problem that can be solved via MRSI. Ownership established each dog can be tracked by its owner using dog tags, with collars embedded with SIM Cards for tracking purposes.

RFID (Radio Frequency Identification) chipsets can be implanted under their skin in much the same way farmers currently tag goats and cows to positively identify dog and owner.

This is already slated to be implemented by the Government of Great Britain after recent dog attack in their country back in 2010 as stated in the article “Crackdown on Dangerous Dogs to make microchips compulsory for all”, published Tuesday 9 March 2010, The Guardian.

Much as Mobile Phones can be tracked, so too can any device with a SIM card via Mobile Triangulation as stated in my blog article entitled “Mobile Triangulation without GPS - A Solution to Crime under our Noses”.

Ironic, as MRSI originally created to assist the Jamaica Constabulary Force aka the Jamaican Police to catch stray Jamaican “Bad Dogs” who have strayed far from the long arm of the Law, may actually wind up catching real stray dogs. Poetic Justice and Irony never seemed so cruelly intertwined, like snakes in entranced intercourse.

Jamaican Dogs, too, are criminals, but culpability is only established if the dog’s owner can be taken before court. At this point the Government of Jamaica chimed in with Dr Osbil Watson Senior Veterinary Officer, the Veterinary Services Division of the Ministry of Agriculture, who expressed this ownership concept best, quote: “Not a lot of us take responsibility when we own a pet. Owning a pet is like having a child, you have to nourish and care for that child. Owning a pet does not mean you have the dog loose in the yard. The animal must have proper access to health care among other things”.

SIM cards implanted in the collar of dogs, to be made mandatory by Law, would make dog ownership not only legitimized in Jamaica, but owners culpable for the actions of their furry companions.

Spaying and Neutering Jamaican Dogs will reduce their population, as obviously killing the dogs does not prevent others from repopulating and taking their place to Kill and Kill Again (1981). This a point supported by the JSPCA’s Senior Veterinarian, Dr. Paul Turner, who spoke on the issue, quote: “If you own a pet and you are not in dog breeding, it is up to you to have the animal neutered so as to prevent unnecessary litters of pups so as not to add to the numbers roaming the streets”.

I suspect tourists would actually be interested in buying up some of these Jamaican Dogs, despite further statements by JSPCA’s Senior Veterinarian, Dr. Paul Turner. At this point you can start playing the sinister music in D-Flat with the scenes changed akin to the black-and-white of the silent era Charlie Chaplin Style.

Once you give them their shots, spay and neuter them and spray paint them in Jamaican Colours, folks! Just catch them, spay them and wash them up, as Carlette Deleon aka the Pet Tales Chick aka “Dilly” of Television Jamaica pointed out in one of her shows prior to her kissing a Jamaican Dog in its puppy form on live TV.

They are normal dogs, as pointed out in a previous episode of Pet Tales on Television Jamaica. I suspect that this may all be her doing, as Carlette Deleon probably has a gigantic puppy mill hidden somewhere in the Hills of St. Andrew to farm these Jamaica Dogs for their skins and make them into coats to sell to tourists, 101 Dalmatians (1996) Style!

Especially as JVMA Secretary Dr Paul Cadogan further added an interesting fact in this statement, quote: “This year 2011 is World Veterinary Year. Let us not wait for more tragic incidents like this most recent one for us to come together and do something”.

However, Neville Bell of Television Jamaica fame had better watch out, as she recently called him a, quote “monkey” on the Friday March 25^th 2011 episode of Smile Jamaica, according to my archives. She may be planning a robbery using monkeys, Monkey Strike Style……….

Stay tuned.