From
lower to the higher next,
Not
to the top, is Nature’s text;
And
embryo Good, to reach its stature,
Absorbs
the evil in its nature.
J.R.
Lowell, Festina Lente: Moral
Looks
like today, I may be headed into a firestorm of controversy with yet another
controversial post on my personal blog. This time it is not about the Internet
“fostering stupidity” as asserted by famed author Nicholas
Carr as penned in my blog article entitled “Telecom
Providers, Bloggers and the Media - Robin Hood, Men in Tights”.
Neither
is it the research of Colombia University Psychologist Dr. Betsy Sparrow
that asserts that we are using Google and
the Internet are most people’s first point of research to augment our memories,
remembering where the information is as opposed to the information itself as
stated in my blog article entitled “Columbia U says Google erodes Memory - Johnny Mnemonic The Computer
wore Tennis Shoes”.
Oh
no, this is waaaay more controversial!
It
is the recently release study from the Helsinki Center of Economic Research
(HECER) which has made a stunning discovery: there is a strong correlation
between average male penis size and the GDP (Gross Domestic Product) of the
countries in which the males reside as stated in the article “The penis factor
- Wacky economics or does size really matter?”, published Sunday,
July 24, 2011 By Julian
Richardson Assistant Business Co-ordinator, The Jamaica Observer.
Made
for great Sunday Observer reading
on Sunday July 31st 2011AD, I assure you! Nice Cartoon too!
The
researcher, a Dr. Tatu Westling of the University of Helsinki,
made his findings public based on a sub-sample of seventy six (76) non-oil producing
countries Economic Data and medical Data Records on the size of male genitalia
between 1960 and 1985. Why he did not go the full hog of all one hundred and
twenty one (121) is another matter of debate, but his correlation is
impressive, establishing an inverse relationship between average male penis
length and the GDP of the countries in which the males reside.
Put
another way, the smaller the average male penis length, the greater that
countries GDP. Judge for yourself from Dr. Tatu Westing statistics laden
comments, quote: “The GDP maximising size is around 13.5 centimeters (5.3
inches), and a collapse in economic development is identified as the size of
male organ exceeds 16 centimeters (6.3 inches)”.
Light
please!
Here
are the statistics that may be the source of much discontent since this paper
was published:
1. Average
penile length for the study period between 1960 and 1985 was 14.5 centimeters
(5.7 inches)
2. Norway's
average penile length is 14.34 centimeters (5.6 inches) and their GDP per
capita in 1985 was US$19,723 in 1985
3. Zaire [now
Democratic Republic of Congo]average penile length is 17.93 centimeters (7
inches) and their GDP per capita in 1985 was US$412
4. Jamaica's
average penile length is 16.5 cm (6.5 inches) and our GDP per capita in 1985
was US$3,080
Even
the Researcher Dr. Tatu Westing, in defending his statistical review paper, was
at pains to point this out, stating that the statistics on penis length were
gleaned from medical records available in the review period between 1960 and
1985.
The
review period is a tad suspicious, which Dr. Tatu Westing explanation seems a
tad flimsy but I love his statistical correlation, as I always suspected there
was a connection, even if it is not solid. Also, I love the odd-ball
correlation that is a mashup of Biology and Economics, which in and of itself
is very rare.
As
usual, the good Dr. Tatu Westing speaks of his research better than I ever can,
quote: “Unit centimeter increase in its physical dimension is found to
reduce GDP growth by five to seven per cent between 1960 and 1985. Furthermore,
quite remarkable is the [finding] that male organ alone can explain 20 per cent
of the between-country variation in GDP growth rates between 1960 and 1985.
Regarding the relative importance of political institutions in shaping economic
development, it seems that male organ is more strongly associated with GDP
growth than country's political regime type.”
In
fact, penile length was an often source of argument between myself and my
Seventh Day Adventist Girlfriend, Audia Granston, a NCTVET Certified
Cosmetologist, based on discussion with her clientele while she did their hair,
as it was her asserting that men with bigger penises were less intelligent!
Since
GDP relates to economic activity, more evident in countries with a strong
Science and Technology emphasis and a love for technology i.e. gadgets, his
correlation sounds plausible. Especially in light of the anecdotal information
as it relates to Asians, who are not as sexually active or expressive as their
Western counterparts and are great admirers and builders of technology and have
thriving economies.
Dr.
Tatu Westing gives this example, quote: “If France with its average
size of 16.1 centimeters (6.3 inches) had male organs on par with United
Kingdom's 13.9 centimeters (5.5 inches), French GDP would have ceteris paribus
expanded by around 15 per cent more between
1960
and 1985.”
But
what is the relationship really?
Is
it that more intelligent societies initially have smaller penises? Or is it
that financial success results in males evolving over time to develop smaller
penises due to lower emphasis on sexual reproduction?
Again
the proffered explanation by Dr. Tatu Westing in defending his work via
mathematical models seems to favour the latter view. Apparently countries with
less leisure time [time to play] have a lower libido over time [reflected in
birth rates], evolution would predispose such work oriented societies to be
more productive and hence have higher GDP’s.
Japan readily
come to mind as an example of this. Japan has a relatively high GDP
country is a ready know example, which has very hard working population and a
love for all things technological as well as the maker of components for
gadgets worldwide as indicated in my Geezam blog article
entitled “Japan Nuclear
Disaster – Implications for Jamaica and the Consumer Electronics World”
Their
low birth rate, which manifests itself in the form of a rapidly ageing
population, is a well known and documented problem for this First World country,
searchable via Google, where libido and
young people interest in getting married and starting a family is a possible
result of their Economic success!
Ditto
too for most of the other Asian Countries.
Whether
or not this translates to shorter penile length, is a source of debate, as Dr.
Tatu Westing is a correlation, and provides no biological explanation for the
trend.
Chicken
vs the Egg quandary!
Whether
all this research is true or not, I dare not say, as unlike her Audia or her
clients, I have not lived a lifestyle where I got to “sample” so many different
men from different racial backgrounds, being as I am a heterosexual and
have NO (not the emphasis!!) interest at peeking at males in the nude.
But
truth be told, Jamaica does have a low relative GDP, high relative
birth rate and a debt-ridden Government now currently being propped up by the
IMF (International Monetary Fund).
In
the interest of Science and Debate, perhaps what is needed is a more modern
statistical review, accounting for out time period i.e. from 1985 to 2010. And
to add a more controversial spin, let’s do one for women as well: correlation
between their sexual genitalia and average GDP, as the majority of the world
populations is female, Jungle Fever
(1991) Style!
Thoughts
to ponder as you research this on Google and
you brain rots further……
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