“In
life you have to move slowly. In a small population like ours, you don't really
want to overexpose yourself too quickly. I think people are still being
sensitised to the whole concept of assisted conception”
Head of the HWFMU
Professor Joseph Frederick commenting to the Gleaner on the HWFMU (Hugh Wynter
Fertility Management Unit) plans to screen Jamaican men to provide sperm for
IVF (In Vitro Fertilization)
Folks,
I’m gonna have a lot of fun with this article. Please count how many times I
use a pun about penis and masturbation thought this article!
When
I initially read the story on Sunday January 25th 2015 about the HWFMU (Hugh Wynter Fertility Management
Unit) planning to buy sperm from Jamaican male donors for US$1500
(JA$173,325.00) per month as reported in the article “Big Bucks
For Sperm - But Only A Handful Of Men Would Qualify For US$1,500 Per Month
Offer If The Programme Is Introduced”, Published Sunday January 25, 2015,
by Nadine Wilson-Harris, Staff Reporter, The
Jamaica Gleaner, I thought it was a joke of some sort.
Maybe, UWI, it seemed, was trying to help out the UWI male population who were masturbating on the Halls by giving them a way to make money to pay down on their tuition money before they got blocked from taking exams.
But
jokes aside, this isn't some kind of scam. Evidence of this can be seen from
the requirements, not many men can rise to the occasion:
1.
19 to 39 years old
2.
5"9" in height
3.
Able to ejaculate three (3) time per
week per month
4.
Enrolled at a university or have a
degree
5.
Genetically perfect specimen
6.
Good health
7.
HIV Test Twice Yearly
It's
even sparked a rush by taximen ready to make cash by just releasing their
excess load into a machine and not on a young schoolgirl as noted in yet
another article in this Sunday Gleaner article “Rush To Earn
From Sperm”, Published Sunday February 1, 2015, by Nadine Wilson-Harris,
Staff Reporter, The Jamaica Gleaner.
So
yes this is legit; you can apparently make money from masturbating!
But
why is it that suddenly the HWFMU
is seeking Jamaican men to artificially inseminate Jamaican women whose men
cannot rise to the occasion? As with all things in life, it’s about quality,
not quantity. And as I’ll explain in this article, it would possibly suggest that
impotence is on the rise in Jamaica due to our diet and lifestyle!
US$1500 per month for
Jamaican Sperm - HWFMU need Highly Educated Jamaican Sperm
What
initially seems to be shakin' down is the fact that it's cheaper to just get Jamaican
men to donate sperm rather than to ship it frozen from the Cryobank in California,
the usual source of fresh sperm used in fertility treatments to quote Head of
the HWFMU Professor Joseph
Frederick: “We have to buy the sperm from overseas and they come down frozen,
so if we could get fresh sperm down here, that would be very good Particularly
when we have a problem with a couple where a man's sperm is very bad or he
doesn't have any sperm at all, we have to order”.
Many
are called but few can stick it, being as the usual sources for the
international sperm bank are law, medicine and business College students at
Harvard or Stanford. This logically implies either a lot of White and Asian
students at Harvard or Stanford are impregnating Black Jamaican women or the
few black men on these prestigious colleges are supplying a country of almost 3
million people with Sperm.
However, Head of the HWFMU Professor Joseph Frederick dismisses this notion with a chuckle; couples want sperm that's labeled “Made in Jamaica”, quote: “They would tell you that they don't want somebody who is too far removed from their physical attributes in terms of the colour of their skin, height, and then of course all of them say that they want somebody who is educated. Sometimes they want so much that you think they want superman”.
This
makes Jamaica appear both intellectually and sexually impotent, to quote Head
of the HWFMU Professor Joseph
Frederick: “Our stringent donor qualification process (including genetic and
infectious disease screening) allows less than one per cent of all applicants
to make it into our programme”.
After
all, shouldn’t there be enough young men that meet the criteria that can take
on the challenge of impregnating infertile females? Given the stringent requirements,
that may not be the case.
So
what does the Jamaican UWI, UTECH or Teacher College student have to do to
measure up to this 9 foot pole yardstick? Here are the requirements repeated
again if you still unable to get it to stand up:
1.
19 to 39 years old
2.
5"9" in height
3.
Able to ejaculate three (3) time per
week per month
4.
Enrolled at a university or have a
degree
5.
Genetically perfect specimen
6.
Good health
7.
HIV Test Twice Yearly
So
rather than import American sperm to impregnate Jamaica women, just like our
importation of food from First World Countries as noted in my blog article
entitled “Jamaica's
Basic Item Food Bill mostly from 1st World Countries - Buy Jamaican Build
Jamaica made from Imported Raw Materials in containers that says Made in
Jamaica”, the HMFWU has decided to go local.
Demand for Jamaican Sperm
– IVF in a country where Masturbation is a Common Taboo
But
could it be a case that impotence is on the rise? After all, it's one of the
possible reason, aside from the fear of a twice yearly HIV test that I can
think up to explain the shortfall in men standing up and impregnate some highly
educated Jamaican Black Sista's!
Jamaican
men are known to drink a lot of alcohol and men from the higher echelons of
society tend to drink beer and wine, which is known to cause decreased sexual performance
based on the research of the RSPH (Royal Society for Public Health)
as noted in my blog
article entitled “RSPH
Study on Caloric Knowledge of Alcohol – British Drinkers Clueless on Caloric
Content of Wines as EU moving to label Wines by December 2014”.
Foods
that have a high level of Fats and Sugar are associated with increasing incidence
of Lifestyle diseases such as Heart attack and Stroke. An incidence of a Stroke
or a Heart attack or simply being obese may case restricted blood flow to the
sexual organs making sexual intercourse difficult for these high-born
Professionals.
To
that end, the Ministry of Health had a plan to implement a Fast Food Health Tax
to reduce the cost of the paying for the health care of persons suffering from
these preventable lifestyle disease as posited in my blog article
entitled “Min.
of Health, Dr. Fenton Ferguson proposes financing Health Care via a Fast Food
and Junk Food Tax - Jamaican High Schoolers Addiction to American style Fast
Food”.
But
Head of the HWFMU Professor Joseph
Frederick would not bow to such an assertion. Rather, he pointed out that the
lack of Jamaican Sperm Donors is more about culture as Fertility treatments in
Jamaica are quite new, quote: “You find that because of that, a lot of men,
unless they have a particular commitment, they are not just going to come off
the road and give sperm and go through all that trouble”.
Translation:
unless the person receiving your sperm is a family relative, men are reluctant
to donate.
This
is especially true given that donating effectively means masturbating to
ejaculate sperm into a receiving machine that resembles a oversized vacuum
cleaner, masturbation being taboo in Jamaica albeit widely practiced under the
quiet, to quote Head of the HWFMU
Professor Joseph Frederick: “Masturbation in our culture is not an easy thing
for most men to come and do just like that. So unless you have a particular
interest, you don't tend to come”.
Demand for Jamaican Sperm
- Ambitious Professional Women wanting to be Mothers later in life
Despite
this, I still think impotence may be on the rise. Up until now, these few White,
Asian and Black students at Harvard or Stanford were doing a fine job of
impregnating our highly educated Jamaican women. But the fact that they're calling
in the Jamaican reserves implies several possibilities:
1.
The Harvard or Stanford can't keep up
with the increasing demand for their sperm
2.
Local production of Jamaican sperm is no
cheaper than importation
3.
More infertile couples are specifically
demanding Jamaican Sperm as opposed to American sperm
4.
There has been an increase in the number
of infertile couples in Jamaica
5.
There has been an increase in the number
or highly educated females seeking to have a child but unable to find a
suitable mate
But
again, it seems that Head of the HWFMU
Professor Joseph Frederick did a fantastic job of defending his wicket,
pointing out that as women strive to achieve more in life, many are also opting
to store their eggs at the HWFMU
for fertilization later.
After
achieving their dreams, they then plan to get pregnant using these younger,
fresher eggs. Problem is, an AWFUL LOT
of Jamaican Professional women, possibly single, are opting to do this.
The
HWFMU is also very competitive when
compared to international Egg and Sperm banks:
1.
US$12,000 internationally for a round
IVF (Invitro-Fertilization) Treatment
2.
US$600 per annum to store Sperm and Eggs
At
the HWFMU, which is highly
subsidized, the prices for couples are a lot lower for the same professional
service:
1.
US$7,000 for a round IVF
(Invitro-Fertilization) Treatment
2.
US$200 per annum to store Sperm and Eggs
Thus
with such dirt-cheap prices, it’s no wonder that professional women, unable to
find a man that doesn’t have a problem with a successful Black Woman are now taking
up the option to just store their eggs until the time is right.
Some
may even be opting to start families as a single parent using their Eggs or
sell them to older couples seeking to get pregnant for profit, albeit I’m not
sure if the HWFMU allows that, being
as their services are geared specifically at couples.
Combine
all of this, it's clear that increasing demand is begin placed on the HWFMU to find genetically suitable
donors. So they're looking to Jamaica with a reward of US$1500 (JA$173,325.00)
for any man that can masturbate three (3) per week.
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