My Thoughts on Technology and Jamaica: Gmail Motion is SLOOW & other April Fool's Jokes - Armstrong's Firefly

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Gmail Motion is SLOOW & other April Fool's Jokes - Armstrong's Firefly

On this hapless Earth
There’s small sincerity of mirth,
And laughter oft is but an art
To drown the outcry of the heart

Hartley Coleridge, Address to Certain Gold-Fishes

I had been sleeping all of yesterday Monday April 4 2011, as the night prior I spent downloading and trying some new versions of Bootable Linux Distributions for my newly minted business venture, Lucky 7 Dragon Deer Prints and More, a PC Repair shop on wheels. Website for my business coming soon folks!

This as Amazing PC Ltd severely undeserved the burgeoning PC and Laptop market in Clarendon. People have cash, just that adults do not prioritize spending on what they perceive as a toy for their children to play games.

Plus, interests are shifting, as more people are now into mobile smartphones and into upgrading their PC’s to Linux Distributions and building Websites to make money from the Internet, Services for which I charge a premium.

Maintenance, Repair and Upgrade of PC’s I only charge JA$2000 plus travel to and from May Pen to the customer’s house in Clarendon to fix a PC or Laptop with a software or hardware problem.

That’s right folks!

My business model is based on making House Calls, with the intention to buy a store location, as soon as people get hip to the latest trends in computing, thus jump starting the other side of my business, which is a Brand new PC and Laptop purchase. My website/FB Page is coming soon, honestly!

Jamaicans are just not ready yet to move on to newer, things, especially if what they had is working and can be upgraded. Plus, few know how their PC even works, seeing it as only a toy for their children to do homework!

This “lack of knowledge of the system” apparently can be transplanted to explain the reason behind the win for JLP (Jamaica Labour Party) in the South West St. Catherine Seat for controversial Senator Everald Warmington as stated in the article “JLP retains South West St. Catherine seat”, published Tuesday, April 05, 2011, by The Jamaica Observer: A lack of understanding or interest in what is going on in Society.

This despite Senator Everald Warmington being bitten by the Media Watchdogs, the PAJ (Press Association of Jamaica) and the MAJ (Media Association of Jamaica) over his curse-out of Keryln Brown, a News Reporter on CVM TV as stated in the article “Media associations express dismay at Everald Warmington's Behavior”, published March 10 2011 12:29:02, Go-Jamaica.

This after he had resigned, of course, post his resignation due to a dual-citizen ship issue (the reason for the by-election!), feigning remorse to the Media Watchdogs, a clever political strategy!

Interestingly, from a statistical point of view, (always my angle for argueing!) he won by a comfortable 64% of votes, beating out PNP (People’s National Party) runner-up Carlos Waul by 5,891 votes, who polled 34% of electoral votes with only 2,991 votes.

Yet only 26% of the 37,151 of the voting electorate turned out to vote, most likely because of boredom on the part of the PNP with the opposing candidate and a general lack of interest in politics. Guess his strategy worked, as he is now back in the House of Parliament, without any direct apology to the now sleeping Media Watchdogs!!

Thus, only Die Hard (1998) supporters of the respective parties voted, the majority of eligible voting constituents just not interested in the business of Government to even bother to get their fingers dirty.

At least the roads in Milk River, Clarendon where I live have finally been include on the JDIP (Jamaica Development Infrastructure Program).

Apparently elections are around the corner here on this beautiful isle of wood and Water!

I had long suspected (twitching my tail, scratching my goatee!!) that the JLP was going to use the JDIP as their Election Kitty money.

Same thing our American cousins, the Obama-led Democrats are doing too in the form of the US$50 billion Infrastructure program to fix highways to retain a second term as I had slyly suggested in my blog article entitled “Bruce Golding and the JDIP - 2 Fast 2 Furious”.

Election time, the American version of Jamaica’s Political Carnival season equivalent, is definitely near in the US of A, folks!

This based on the Monday March 4th 2011 announcement by President of the United States of America Barack Obama, who declared his candidacy for a second term as stated in the article “Obama declares himself candidate for re-election”, published Monday April 4, 2011 9:03pm EDT by Steve Holland and Caren Bohan, Reuters.

BBC News brings the reputable backup generator-esque news online as stated in the article entitled “Barack Obama announces 2012 re-election bid”, published 4 April 2011 Last updated at 13:39 GMT, BBC News.

Republicans only have Senator Sarah Palin as their saving grace. This as few of the other nominees are young enough (in politics, 45 to 50 is considered young) muchless possess the charisma to charm people and show them the path to a sustainable future without a Dependence on the Middle East as opined in my blog article entitled “Alternative Energy and All-Electric Cars - WarGames”.

In other post-April Fool’s jokes, Mountain View, California headquartered Google went ape and decided to debut “Introducing Gmail Motion” as their reason to give me and other bloggers a headache on April’s Fools.

Unlike last year, I am a little more fortified against Silicon Valley’s penchant for product spoofs and vaporware. So I did not fall for any other neatly and professionally laid traps.

Ha, Google, how do you like dem Apples, 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003) Style!

So I am happy to report that the yolk is on Google this trip, thanks to CNET News Blogger Elizabeth Armstrong Moore, Firefly (TV Series 2002-2003) Style. University of South California PhD candidate Evan Suma couldn’t let Google have the last laugh and decided to turn the beat around on Google by breathing life into Google online shenanigans.

As described in the article “Google prank + Kinect hack -= useful Health tech”, published April 4, 2011 3:47 PM PDT by Elizabeth Armstrong Moore, CNET News - Health Tech. He implemented his cheekily named algorithm SLOOW (Software Library Optimizing Obligatory Waving) which was a modification and tip of his hat on his prior acronym FAAST (for Flexible Action and Articulated Skeleton Toolkit) from his Research Groups software.

It utilizes the Microsoft Kinect to make browsing email as simple as making Air Gestures.

Clever joke with actual applications though, as this would make reading Tablets, Laptops and PC’s in a hospital setting among Doctors the next big thing, oweing to the fact that they would use the tactile interface more effectively if it wasn’t – well, so tactile.

Spreading super bugs about a busy hospital where everything is pre-sanitized is a must-avoid. Most of these new Tablets and Laptops will now be redesigned to sport a front-facing camera or to utilize the Kinect Bundle thanks to Apple Inc setting the bar in their Apple iPad 2 debut as stated in my blog article “Apple iPad 2 and PC future - Domsday in the Battlefield”.

Not to mention helping the recuperating and recovering to use the Internet on Tablets, Laptops and PC’s rented to them by hospitals or their own Tablets, Laptops and PC’s without having to spread their contagion, as they would not have to touch the sanitized keyboard or screen.

I am now FAAST (get it, folks?) beginning to see why the Microsoft Kinect has claimed the Guinness World Record for Fastest Selling consumer electronics Device, selling one hundred and thirty three thousand three hundred and thirty three devices per day as stated in the article “10 million a magic number for Microsoft's Kinect”, published March 9, 2011 12:09 PM PST by Don Reisinger, The Digital Home - CNET News.

The hacks and customizations, not to mention the legit licensing of PrimeSense’s 3D Motion Capture Technology utilized by the Microsoft Kinect to other Computer and PC makers to create a world where remote controls are obsolete as stated in the article “Kinect's Israeli partner sees a remoteless world”, published Saturday September 4 2010, 10:48 am ET By Tia Goldenberg and Peter Svensson, Associated Press Writers, Yahoo! News (

If my opinion piece in my blog article entitled “Internet, Apple iTV and Cable - Pirates of the Caribbean” is anything to go by, then Inon Beracha, partner in PrimeSense, the maker of the Kinect Motion Controller and the holder of the license agreement for their 3D Motion Capture Technology to Microsoft may make this a reality.

Especially helping those people who it should matter to most – the people in the Medical profession! Thus Elizabeth Armstrong Moore’s Law is definitely spot-on: Google prank + Kinect hack = useful Health tech, Firefly (TV Series 2002-2003) Style!

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